Getting rid of things is about making room—for the things you use, the things you love and, quite literally, for the people who live in your home. We need a house in which the things we own have a reason to be there.
Over time, however, even a well-kept home accumulates things almost imperceptibly: outgrown clothes and toys, duplicate items, gifts we never quite knew what to do with and an astonishing number of cords whose original purpose has long been forgotten.
The trick is learning to make good decisions about what stays, what goes and where everything goes next.
There is a particular kind of clarity that comes from an emptied drawer. Not the frantic, purging kind — the kind that happens slowly, deliberately, with a cup of tea going lukewarm on the counter while you decide, once and for all, whether you still need the good gravy boat you've never used.
Paring back is not about minimalism as an aesthetic. It's about making room — physically and otherwise — for a home that reflects how you actually live now, not how you lived five years ago, or how you imagined you might live when you bought that bread maker.
At a Glance
01 / Understand the Why
Decide what you want to gain from having less—not simply what you want to eliminate.
02 / Start with the Easy Things
Begin with obvious trash, duplicates, broken items and things you already know you no longer want.
03 / Decide What Deserves to Stay
Keep things that are useful, beautiful, meaningful or genuinely difficult to replace.
04 / Make the Hard Decisions
Work through sentimental objects, expensive mistakes, “someday” items and things kept out of obligation.
05 / Sort by Destination
Create clear categories: keep, relocate, sell, donate, give away, recycle and discard.
06 / Get Things Out of the House
A donation pile is still a pile. Give everything leaving your home a deadline and destination.
07 / Make It Harder to Refill the Space
Pay attention to what enters the house so clearing out becomes maintenance rather than a recurring overhaul.
The Process
01 / Start With the Why
There is a subtle-yet-important difference between “What can I get rid of?” and “What deserves space in my home?”
The second question shifts the emphasis away from deprivation. The goal is not an empty house. It is a house where you can find what you need, properly care for what you own and enjoy the things you have chosen to keep.
Too much stuff has practical consequences. Cabinets become difficult to use. Closets require constant rearranging. Storage spaces fill until they can no longer accommodate the things they were intended to store. Cleaning takes longer. Useful things disappear behind things nobody uses.
Before you begin, identify what you are actually trying to accomplish. Perhaps you want:
Kitchen cabinets that are easy to put away
A closet containing clothes you actually wear
A basement that functions as more than overflow storage
Children's rooms they can reasonably keep tidy
Space for hobbies you currently enjoy
Fewer things requiring cleaning, organizing and maintenance
Room to comfortably welcome people into your home
Mary’s note: The best measure of success isn't the number of bags you remove. It is whether the space works better when you are finished.
02 / Go Room by Room
Once you understand the process, work methodically through the house rather than bouncing between whatever catches your attention. Starting with practical spaces builds momentum before you reach the categories that require more emotional energy.
The order I typically follow is:
Bathrooms
Kitchen (pantry and refrigerator first, then drawers and cabinets)
Linens
Children's Clothing
Children’s Toys, Books & Games
Clothing
Books
Office (files, paperwork, technology)
Decorative Objects
Storage Rooms (basement and attic)
Garage
Sentimental Momentos
Do not empty your entire house onto the floor at once. Work in small enough areas that you can completely finish one before moving to another.
A single finished cabinet is considerably more useful than six rooms in various stages of upheaval.
03 / Start With the Easy Things
Decision-making becomes easier with practice, so start where the answers are obvious. Pick one contained area—a bathroom cabinet, junk drawer, pantry shelf or child's dresser—and remove the things requiring very little deliberation.
Trash and empty packaging
Expired products
Broken items you realistically will not repair
Obvious duplicates
Clothing that is badly worn, stained or damaged
Toys with missing or broken pieces
Manuals for products you no longer own
Mystery cords and chargers once you've confirmed they don't belong to something in the house
Products you tried and know you don't like
Things you have already replaced
04 / Decide What Deserves to Stay
Once the obvious things are gone, the decisions become more nuanced. For each item, ask:
Do I use it?
Not theoretically. Do you actually use it in your present life?
Do I love it?
Some things earn their place simply because they make a home more personal or beautiful.
Would I buy it again today?
This is particularly helpful with clothing, decor and kitchen equipment.
Do I have something else that serves the same purpose?
Duplicates aren't inherently bad. Six wooden spoons may be useful; six nearly identical black sweaters may not be.
Is it worth the space required to store it?
A rarely used item that occupies half a closet deserves more scrutiny than something that fits neatly in a drawer.
Would it be difficult or expensive to replace?
There is little sense in purging useful things only to buy them again six months later.
Does it belong to the life we actually live?
Our possessions often represent former hobbies, previous houses, younger children or imagined versions of ourselves. You do not necessarily need to keep equipping a life you no longer live.
05 / Deal With the Hard Categories
Some belongings require more thought because the decision isn't really about the object itself.
Sentimental Items
You do not need to get rid of something simply because it isn't useful. Sentiment is a perfectly legitimate reason to keep something. The question is whether the object itself is meaningful—or whether you are keeping it because you feel that you should.
Give genuinely sentimental things appropriate space. One well-organized memory box is different from an entire basement of objects you never look at. Photographing something before letting it go can also preserve the memory without requiring you to store the object indefinitely.
Gifts
Once a gift has been given to you, its purpose has been fulfilled. Keeping something you don't like or use does not make you more appreciative of the person who gave it to you. Keep the relationship. Release the obligation.
Expensive Mistakes
What you paid for something is already spent. Keeping an unused object does not recover the money. If it has meaningful resale value, sell it.
“Someday” Items
If you have a concrete plan to use something within a reasonable period, keep it. If you have been moving it from closet to closet for ten years, time to let it go.
Items That Belong To Someone Else
Don't make the decision for them. Give the owner a reasonable deadline to collect or sort their belongings, particularly adult children's things stored in your home.
06 / Use the Container Test
Storage itself can help make the decision. Decide how much space you are willing to devote to a category, then let that boundary determine how much you keep. For example:
One shelf for board games.
One bin for children's artwork.
One cabinet for vases.
One box for school memories.
One drawer for workout clothes.
The exact limit doesn't matter. What matters is recognizing that your house is a finite container. If the designated space is comfortably full, adding something generally means choosing something else to remove.
This is far more sustainable than continually buying additional bins, baskets and shelving to accommodate an ever-growing volume of belongings.
Mary’s note: Organizing and editing are different jobs. Organizers make the things you own easier to access. They do not solve the problem of owning more than a space can reasonably hold.
07 / Sort by Destination
As you work, don't create one enormous ambiguous pile. Sort items into boxes with clearly defined destinations:
Relocate Within Home
Give to ______
Sell
Donate
Recycle / Special Disposal
Trash
Be conservative about the sell pile. Selling requires photographing, listing, communicating with buyers and arranging pickup or shipping. For lower-value objects, the time involved can easily exceed the value recovered.
Give yourself a threshold. Perhaps you only sell individual items you reasonably expect to bring $50, $100 or more. Everything below that amount can be donated or given away.
08 / Where Should Everything Go?
Once you've decided to part with something, the next goal is to find the best reasonable destination—not necessarily the theoretically perfect one.
Give directly to someone
This is wonderful when you already know someone who wants the item: children's clothes for a younger cousin, furniture for someone setting up a first apartment or gardening equipment for a neighbor. But ask first. Passing your unwanted belongings to someone who doesn't want them merely transfers the problem.
Donate
Good-quality clothing, housewares, books, toys and small furniture can often go to local charities or thrift organizations. Donate things in a condition you would feel comfortable giving directly to another person. Donation centers should not become a substitute for the trash.
Sell
Resale makes the most sense for items with enough value to justify the effort: quality furniture, designer clothing, newer electronics, collectibles, sporting equipment and certain children's gear.
Consignment can be useful when the item is valuable but you don't want to manage the sale yourself.
Recycle
Paper, cardboard, glass, metal and certain plastics may belong in your municipal recycling stream. Electronics, batteries, textiles and other materials may require specialty recycling.
Check your local requirements rather than assuming something is recyclable.
Special disposal
Paint, chemicals, medications, fluorescent bulbs, propane cylinders and certain batteries should not simply be thrown into household trash. Your municipality or waste provider can tell you where these materials should go.
Trash
Sometimes throwing something away is the correct answer.
A broken, stained, incomplete or unusable object does not become environmentally responsible simply because it sits in your basement for another decade.
Dispose of it properly, learn from the purchase if necessary and move on.
09 / Get It Out of the House
This is the step that separates decluttering from rearranging. Once you have made a decision, complete it.
Put donations directly into the car.
Schedule the furniture pickup.
Send the text asking whether your sister wants the dishes.
List the valuable item for sale.
Take electronics to the appropriate recycling location.
Put actual trash in the trash.
For things you intend to sell or give away, establish a deadline. If they haven't sold or been claimed by that date, donate them.
Keep In Mind
10 / Don't Organize What You Should Eliminate
It is tempting to buy containers before beginning.
Don't.
First remove what doesn't belong. Then group what remains. Only then decide whether you need additional storage.
This often reveals that the house already has plenty of storage; it was simply being occupied by things no longer worth storing.
When you do buy organizing pieces, choose them for a specific purpose and measure the space first.
11 / Stop the Refill
Getting rid of things is only half of the equation.
Pay attention to how things enter the house in the first place.
Before buying something, ask:
Where will this live?
Do I already own something that does this?
Am I buying it for a real need or an imagined one?
Would I still want it if it weren't on sale?
Will maintaining, storing or eventually disposing of it create more work than it is worth?
For children's things, regularly retire what has been outgrown before birthdays and holidays bring another influx.
For clothing, periodically look at what you consistently don't wear.
For household goods, resist buying a storage solution until you've determined that the contents themselves deserve to stay.
You don't need a rigid one-in-one-out rule. You simply need to notice the flow.
Bonus / Create an Exit Station
Designate one small, unobtrusive place for things that are leaving the house: perhaps a basket in the mudroom, a shelf in the garage or a bin near the back door.
When you encounter something you no longer need during ordinary life, put it there rather than returning it to a drawer.
When the container is full, deal with it.
The important part is that this is a temporary holding place, not permanent storage. Establish a routine—perhaps once a month—for emptying it completely.
Parting note: A well-edited home should still contain plenty of things: books you return to, dishes you enjoy setting the table with, children's artwork, inherited furniture, good tools, photographs, collections and objects whose only job is to be beautiful. The point is not to strip a house of personality. It is to clear away enough of the unnecessary that the things worth keeping have room to be used, cared for and enjoyed.
The Art of Letting Go
Why It's Worth Doing
Every object in your home asks something of you. It asks to be dusted, stored, moved, decided about. Multiply that by the hundreds of things tucked into closets and cabinets and the backs of drawers, and it's no wonder a cluttered home can feel loud even when it's silent.
A few reasons paring back matters, beyond the obvious appeal of a tidy shelf:
It restores attention. A home with less in it is a home where the things you kept can actually be seen — the good linens, the well-loved books, the pitcher your grandmother gave you. Clutter doesn't just take up space; it competes for your eye and your care.
It's an act of honesty. Holding onto something "just in case" or "because it was expensive" is often less about the object and more about avoiding a decision. Letting go asks you to be honest about who you are now, not who you were when you bought it.
It makes maintenance possible. A well-run home isn't about owning less for its own sake — it's about owning an amount you can actually tend to. Every added item is one more thing to eventually clean, repair, or manage. Fewer things, cared for well, will always outshine more things, cared for poorly.
It's a gift to your future self. Someone, someday, will have to go through your belongings — likely you, in a few years, or someone you love, someday further off. Editing now is a quiet kindness to whoever does that sorting later.
How to Decide What Stays
The hardest part of decluttering is rarely the letting go — it's the deciding. A framework helps. Work room by room, or category by category (all books together, all linens together), rather than drawer by drawer. Seeing the full scope of what you own in one category makes the decisions clearer and the duplicates obvious.
For each item, ask, in order:
1. Have I used this in the last year? Not "might I." Not "could I imagine a scenario." Have you, in fact, reached for it. Seasonal and sentimental items get more latitude here — a holiday item only needs to have been used last holiday season to count.
2. Do I have more than one, and does that serve me? Some duplication is sensible — everyday plates for two, plus a set for entertaining. Other duplication is just accumulation: four vegetable peelers, none of them your favorite. Keep the best version. Let the rest go.
3. Would I buy this again today, knowing what I know now? This question cuts through sunk cost quickly. If the honest answer is no, the fact that you already own it doesn't change that.
4. Is it beautiful, useful, or loved — and ideally, more than one of those? This is the closest thing to a north star for what belongs in a considered home. An object doesn't need to be all three. But if it's none of them, it's worth a second look.
5. What is the story I'm telling myself about why I'm keeping this? "I might need it" and "it was a gift" and "it was expensive" are all real feelings, but they're worth naming out loud. Sometimes naming the story is enough to see it clearly — and to release it with gratitude rather than guilt.
A practical note: sort into four piles as you go — Keep, Donate, Sell, and Undecided. Give yourself permission for an Undecided box, but set a rule that it must be resolved within thirty days, unopened. If you haven't thought about what's in it by then, you have your answer.
Where It Goes From Here
Deciding to let something go is only half the task. What happens next matters too — both for your own follow-through and for what becomes of the things you're releasing.
To sell, reserve this for items with real resale value — furniture, designer or barely-worn clothing, quality kitchen equipment, collectibles. Anything below a certain value (a good rule of thumb: if it would sell for less than $20, the time spent photographing, listing, and coordinating pickup usually isn't worth it) is generally better donated.
Furniture and larger home goods: Facebook Marketplace, a local consignment shop, or a neighborhood Buy Nothing group if you'd rather give it away with less friction.
Clothing: consignment stores for higher-end pieces, or resale platforms for everyday brands.
Books, media, and collectibles: specialty resale shops or online marketplaces built for the category — they tend to net more than general marketplaces.
To donate, match the item to the right recipient rather than defaulting to one bin for everything:
Clothing and household goods in good condition to a local thrift shop or shelter — many shelters have specific, seasonal needs worth calling ahead about.
Furniture in good repair to organizations that furnish homes for families in transition; several offer free pickup for larger pieces.
Books to a local library sale, a Little Free Library, or a literacy nonprofit.
Building materials, tools, and fixtures — leftover tile, hardware, light fixtures — to a habitat-for-humanity-style restore, which exists specifically for this category and is criminally underused.
Anything sentimental you're not ready to fully release — consider photographing it before it goes, so the memory stays even after the object doesn't.
To trash, reserve this truly for what's broken beyond repair, incomplete, or unsafe. Before you do, a final pass is worth it: could this be repaired rather than replaced? Could it be repurposed into something you'd actually use? And for anything electronic, battery-powered, or containing chemicals — check for a proper recycling or hazardous waste program in your area rather than sending it to a landfill.
A Closing Thought
None of this needs to happen in a weekend. In fact, it's better if it doesn't. Give yourself one category at a time, one honest afternoon at a time. The goal was never an empty house — it was a considered one. A home where everything in it earned its place, and you can feel that, even if you couldn't say exactly why.
